Beautiful WeHo townhouse with curved arches, huge portrait windows, two grills and a spacious backyard, your very own cumquat and fig trees, a huge soaking shower, and tons of natural light. It's a 2 bed/bath, each room with a queen bed, and has a huge living room + bar, with tons of space for large groups. Best of all, it's in the most convenient part of WeHo, tucked into a bright and green neighborhood full of trees and foliage. A pretty respite from typical LA grit.
While you're here, the entire space is yours. The gigantic living room, beautiful bar area, dining room, kitchen, two bathrooms, and two bedrooms, as well as the outdoor patio and backyard areas, including the two grills. You can even pick fruit from the cumquat and fig trees. Only the closet in the master bedroom is off-limits. That's where I keep the bodies.
You break it, you bought it. If you break something or stain something or scratch something or crack something, you'll be required to pay for any maintenance and/or replacements as necessary. This should be a no-brainer, but some people think it's totally cool to mess up another person's apartment without paying them back—trust me, it's not cool! One might even call it "uncool."
Another no-brainer: if you cause damage to anything in the apartment, or if you misplace something from the apartment, you must tell me before you check out. Don't hope I won't notice, because I will.
If you take something, even accidentally, you will be responsible for giving it back or paying for it plus a fee. If I notice anything is missing, whether it's a towel or a hair dryer or a pillow or virtually anything else, I'll contact you and will expect you to ship it back to me at your own expense with next-day shipping. Alternatively, I can charge you for the full cost of the item plus an inconvenience fee. Why an "inconvenience fee"? Because when someone takes things from the apartment, that causes me and future guests an inconvenience. Guests may have to go without a pillow or a towel, or some other important item, and I have to take time out of my day to go buy a new one. Super not fun.
No smoking in the apartment. Like, none. Not with the window open, not in the bathroom, not in the closet, not under the bed. If there's any smoke odor whatsoever after you leave, you'll be required to pay for a professional deodorization. I know that sucks, but I have to be strict, because guests have often broke this rule and it's the worst. It ruins the entire place for me and everyone else who stays there. However, you can smoke outside in the backyard or on the sidewalk.
The mattress is expensive. Do not spill any liquids on it! If you do, I'll know, and you'll have to pay for a new mattress, as there's typically no way to repair liquid damage to mattresses. Even water will ruin the mattress because of its foam properties. So please don't drink anywhere near the mattress. You don't want to pay for a new mattress—trust me.
For that matter, don't spill anything else on the mattress either. Spaghetti balls, pizza, red wine, whatever. If you damage the mattress in any way, you'll have to pay for a replacement.
Be careful with the bed in general. Everybody sleeps differently, but some people seem to sleep like Olympic athletes. The legs under the bed can crack if you go too crazy, and then I'll have to replace them. If you do break the bed, you'll need to pay for it, so pace yourself.
Be careful with what you eat on the white couch! If it could cause a stain, be extra careful, and probably don't eat it on the couch. My recommendation is to eat in the kitchen area. If you cause damage to the couch, you will be responsible for replacing the entire couch or repairing whatever has been damaged, which will not be fun.
No pets in the apartment (unless you clear it with me ahead of time). I have allergies to dogs and cats. For those with service animals, unfortunately this poses a problem as well. Always contact me just in case, but generally I don't allow animals in the apartments.
No parties. I don't care if the party is big or small—it isn't allowed, unfortunately. This is a very nice building and the community doesn't put up with shenanigans. If you like shenanigans, please know that this is a shenanigan-free zone.
BE RESPECTFUL of the neighbors and keep noise to a minimum. Absolutely no loud music. Trust me, if you disturb the neighbors, good things will not happen. More specifically, if you causing a noise disturbance at the apartment, it could jeopardize your entire trip and get you kicked out, as the apartment building does not tolerate noise violations.
***The only people allowed in the apartment are the ones who are listed on the reservation. Any other guests will need to be cleared with me ahead of time. Please note: Airbnb allows people to book as a group now. Make sure that any additional people who are going to be with you over night create Airbnb profiles, and make sure to add them to your booking. To do that, open the trip summary in the app, scroll down, and tap on Manage Guests. Then invite your fellow guests using their email addresses. They'll then be added to the listing. If you expect to have guests who are just hanging out and not staying the night, you have to tell me who they are as well. No randos in the building without permission.
When you book, you must tell me accurately how many people will be staying with you. If you give me an inaccurate number, I reserve the right to cancel the reservation at any time.***
Don't drink any of the alcohol in the apartment, whether it's in the refrigerator or elsewhere. This includes beer, wine, champagne, vodka, bourbon, or any other form of alcohol or liquor. This is for a few reasons: (1) you may have fellow guests who aren't 21, and I don't want to be an accessory to underage drinking; (2) alcohol is expensive; (3) some my alcohol was given to me as a gift and has sentimental value; (4) I'd rather you not be super drunk in the apartment anyway.
So again, don't drink the alcohol. If you do drink any of the alcohol, you'll be charged the full price of the bottle.
You must have the Airbnb app on your phone for communication. While I can answer my phone in emergencies, the app is the best place for communication because it gives Airbnb a record of what we've talked about, which can come in handy during customer service situations. As a result, it's very important that you have the app downloaded on your phone. This is especially important during checkin and checkout, as it's essential that you be able to communicate in a timely fashion.
The closet in the back bedroom (at end of hall) is off-limits. I've got sensors in there so I'll know if you go in! It's not like I'm hiding skeletons or anything, just clothes. I had one guest take a shirt and they had to pay me back for the entire thing and then they were banned from Airbnb, SO. Don't you do that.
****Lastly, don't say you're from Airbnb. This goes without saying in Los Angeles. LA is old-fashioned when it comes to Airbnb policy, so hosts have to be more careful. Airbnb is totally legal in the city, but many people still don't like it, and we don't want to annoy them. As such, if anybody should ask, just say you're a friend of mine. Easy as pie.****
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